Well, it happened today. I saw one of the many traits that fall under my assigned personality label of “The Commander” and it wasn’t pretty.
I had to work on a group project for one of my classes earlier this evening that involved 3 of my classmates and myself. Now, to give you some context here, we had already met and intended on finishing the project last week on Friday to have it done and over with. However, one member of our group did not show up and we couldn’t get a hold of her either. So the 3 of us devised a plan that, should she make an appearance or finally get back to us, would include her participation in the project. If not, then the professor would be informed and she would not be receiving credit for our work.
Over an hour into working on the project, we received contact from the fourth member that she had “slept in” (it was passed noon) and “completely forgot.” Needless to say, we were pissed.
So today, we had our second meeting and everyone showed up, so we were off to a good start!
Then it becomes clear that our fourth member who had previously played hooky, did not fully understand nor grasp my hints that I wanted to get the rest of the work done and over with so we could all go home. Instead, she was discussing a crush a guy had on another girl (we are in college, right?) and taking the personality quiz (yes, the same one I have discussed) as it was part of our project and then continuing on and on about the results while I sat desperately trying to finish everything.
The other 2 girls, who had been extremely productive at the first meeting, were being lead astray by this one rogue member. They weren’t intending to not be working, but they also weren’t Commander personalities that were able to keep focused and on task when a more dominant personality came into the mix and was doing the opposite (and yes, I do know this 100% because they, too, took the personality quiz).
Between the first meeting that this girl had missed and now her leading the whole group astray, I began to simmer a bit.
I reached my limit as I was in the middle of discussing a part of the project with one girl and the other interrupted to broadcast something about her personality quiz results. And I snapped.
I didn’t yell or throw things, it wasn’t like that. I simply said that I would really like to stay on task so we can get this done and everyone could go home while giving the girls a look of get your shit together! I thought I had been rather polite considering the dialogue that had been going on inside of my head for the past hour.
The look I received in return and the snappy, “Ok, we got it,” told me that I had been a little shorter than I had intended. But we continued on and wrapped everything up in record time – imagine that!
I realized, though, that I had been a bit rude and they were just trying to have fun and break the boring project up a bit. This in my head, I apologized when we were done for snapping and we all laughed it off but I am sure I left a sour taste in their mouth being that this is the first time we have all really talked, let alone worked together.
I see the error that I made and I attempted to rectify it and that is all that I can do. I can’t sit and beat myself up about it and, if I am honest with myself and with all of you, I’m not losing any sleep over probably not having these girls as my life-long, “Oh, we met back in college!” best friends. I was there to get a job done, not to socialize or tiptoe around trying to get it completed while discussing crushes and roommate drama.
I am aware that given the attitude I have, I can come across as a bitch. I have made it my conscious effort to not be that way or come across like that to other people because I don’t want anyone to feel bad or get upset from something I say. I am not a bad person, just bluntly honest with a “get ‘r done!” kinda mindset.
However, that being said, if there weren’t personalities such as mine, I feel like nothing would ever get done in the world and sometimes, unfortunately, you have to be the bitch that pushes everyone else to be the best that they can be and reach their full potential. Everyone, every personality has a job that helps make the world go ’round and, for better or worse, I just happen to be the one that has to step on a few toes to get my job done.